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Thread: Jokes

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    Jokes

    The Aisle Seat


    Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

    Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat.
    After takeoff the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said 'I need to get up and get a coke.'
    'Don't get up,' said the Marine 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'

    As soon as he left one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good. I'd really like one too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.

    While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

    As the plane was landing the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors, 'Why does it have to be this way?'

    'How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?'


    THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES.

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    Re: Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by iDadGraphics View Post
    The Aisle Seat


    Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

    Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat.
    After takeoff the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said 'I need to get up and get a coke.'
    'Don't get up,' said the Marine 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'

    As soon as he left one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good. I'd really like one too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.

    While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

    As the plane was landing the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors, 'Why does it have to be this way?'

    'How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?'


    THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES.
    ooh rah

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    Re: Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by iDadGraphics View Post
    The Aisle Seat


    Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

    Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat.
    After takeoff the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said 'I need to get up and get a coke.'
    'Don't get up,' said the Marine 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'

    As soon as he left one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good. I'd really like one too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.

    While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

    As the plane was landing the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors, 'Why does it have to be this way?'

    'How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?'


    THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES.
    WTG Marines
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    Re: Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by iDadGraphics View Post
    The Aisle Seat


    Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

    Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat.
    After takeoff the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said 'I need to get up and get a coke.'
    'Don't get up,' said the Marine 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'

    As soon as he left one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good. I'd really like one too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.

    While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

    As the plane was landing the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors, 'Why does it have to be this way?'

    'How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?'


    THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES.


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    Nothing To See Here tekheavy's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by iDadGraphics View Post
    The Aisle Seat


    Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

    Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat.
    After takeoff the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said 'I need to get up and get a coke.'
    'Don't get up,' said the Marine 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'

    As soon as he left one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good. I'd really like one too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.

    While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

    As the plane was landing the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors, 'Why does it have to be this way?'

    'How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?'


    THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES.

  6. #6
    Noob alert! Joegaz's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes

    A Mexican, an Arab,

    and a Arizona girl are

    in the same bar.
    When the Mexican

    finishes his beer,

    he throws his glass

    in the air, pulls out

    his pistol, and shoots

    the glass to pieces.

    He says, 'In Mexico ,

    our glasses are so

    cheap we don't need

    to drink with the same one twice.'

    The Arab, obviously

    impressed by this,

    drinks non-alcohol beer

    (cuz he's a muslim!),

    throws it into the

    air, pulls out his

    AK-47, and shoots

    the glass to pieces.

    He says, 'In the

    Arab World, we have

    so much sand to make

    glasses that we don't

    need to drink with

    the same one twice either.'

    The Arizona girl,

    cool as a cucumber,

    picks up her beer,

    downs it in one gulp,

    throws the glass into

    the air, whips out her

    45, and shoots the

    Mexican and the Arab.

    Catching her glass,

    setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill,

    she says,

    'In Arizona ,

    we have so many

    illegal aliens that

    we don't have to

    drink with the same ones twice.'












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    Senior Member Badgirl500's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes




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    Re: Jokes

    Stangs United: We Have More Horsepower Than You

  9. #9
    Senior Member Stew's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes

    An oldy, but still a goodie.



    An airplane was about to crash.

    There were 5 passengers on board, but there were only 4 parachutes.

    The 1st passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player; the Lakers need me. I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

    The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the wife of a former U.S. President, a N.Y. Senator and a potential future president. And I am the smartest woman in American History. America's people don't want me to die." She took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.

    The 3rd passenger, George W. Bush, said "I am the President of the United States of America. I have great responsibilities being the leader of a superpower nation." So he grabbed the next pack and jumped.

    The 4th passenger, Billy Graham, said to the 5th passenger, a 10 year old school girl, "I am old and frail and don't have many years left and as a Christian I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

    The girl said, "That's OK. There's a parachute left for you. America's smartest woman took my school bag."
    Stew

    2011 Racing Red/White Stripes GT500 with SVT Performance Pack, Electronics Package, TVS, 2.6" Pulley, 90mm Idler, Fore Precision Fuel Rails, C&R Heat Exchanger and FMS intake resonator.

    A veteran - whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in his or her life, wrote a blank check made payable to "'The United States of America", for an amount "up to, and including my life". That is honor, and there are way to many people in this country who no longer understand it.

  10. #10
    Birthday Boy Gr8snkbite's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by iDadGraphics View Post
    The Aisle Seat


    Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

    Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat.
    After takeoff the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said 'I need to get up and get a coke.'
    'Don't get up,' said the Marine 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'

    As soon as he left one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good. I'd really like one too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.

    While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

    As the plane was landing the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors, 'Why does it have to be this way?'

    'How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?'


    THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES.
    Hoo-Raa....
    Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again more intelligently....

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