...quacked me up!
...quacked me up!
68fastback™ ;-)
“When you tear out a man’s tongue you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say” -- George R. R. Martin
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, AGAIN! .
Veritas vos Luberabit(the truth will set you free)
What do you get when you mixed WD40 and Duct Tape...
Tequila, it solves All problems
Build Date: 09/26/06
Delivered Date: 10/13/06
709 out of 2694 Convertibles
44 out of 151 Tungsten Grey Convertibles
The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.
"It is not about how much money you make. The question is are you educated enough to KEEP it."
Except headaches.Originally Posted by Highwayman
What do you get when you mixed WD40 and Duct Tape...
Tequila, it solves All problems
Cheers.
Tony
Nothing here yet.
68fastback™ ;-)
“When you tear out a man’s tongue you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say” -- George R. R. Martin
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, AGAIN! .
Veritas vos Luberabit(the truth will set you free)
Not if you keep using the tequila
Build Date: 09/26/06
Delivered Date: 10/13/06
709 out of 2694 Convertibles
44 out of 151 Tungsten Grey Convertibles
The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.
"It is not about how much money you make. The question is are you educated enough to KEEP it."
A shy young boy named Jason gets his first job…at a hardware store. He tells the boss he’s not sure what to do when a customer comes in. The boss says…just be nice, greet them, and help them find what they are looking for. The kid says ok and stands by the door with his uniform shirt on.
First customer walks in…
Jason: “Hello, I’m Jason…what can I help you find today?”
Customer: “I’m looking for a file…one of them flat bastards”
Jason: “What?!! Sir, we don’t allow language like that in here, you’ll have to leave.”
Customer turns in amazement and walks out. 5 minutes later, another customer comes in….
Jason: “Hello, I’m Jason…what can I help you find today?”
Customer: “I’m looking for a file…one of them flat bastards”
Jason: “What?!! Sir, we don’t allow language like that in here, you’ll have to leave.”
By this time Jason thought he had chosen the wrong job…so he went to talk to his boss and said he thought he had to quit. The boss was confused and asked him why. Jason said that he was being very polite to people, and offering to help, but then they’d start cussing at him. When the boss asked for more details, and Jason said they wanted a file…and then called him a bastard. The boss started laughing and explained to Jason that there is actually a type of file called a “flat bastard” file. The boss then took Jason to the tool aisle and showed him…it said “flat bastard” right on the label.
Of course Jason was embarrassed that he didn’t know this, and apologized to the boss. The boss chuckled and said “that’s ok…go on out there and try again”.
5 minutes later, another customer came in…
Jason: “Hello, I’m Jason…what can I help you find today?”
Customer: “I’m looking for a file”
Jason: (he knew what was coming next…and wanted to impress the customer…so he interrupted him in mid sentence…) ”You want one of them flat bastards?”
Customer: “No, I need one of them big round mother f*ckers”
"Live every day as if it were your last. One day, you'll be right."
"The specialists learns more and more, about less and less, until he knows everything about nothing. The generalist learns less and less, about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything."
68fastback™ ;-)
“When you tear out a man’s tongue you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say” -- George R. R. Martin
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, AGAIN! .
Veritas vos Luberabit(the truth will set you free)
"Live every day as if it were your last. One day, you'll be right."
"The specialists learns more and more, about less and less, until he knows everything about nothing. The generalist learns less and less, about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything."
THE PASTOR AND HIS DONKEY
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race, and it won again. The local paper read: Pastor's ass out front.
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races. The next day, the local paper headline read: Bishop scratches pastor's ass.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: Nun has the best ass in town.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: Nun sells ass for $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: Nun announces her ass is wild and free.
Alas...... The bishop was buried the next day.
Moral of the story?? Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery, and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life ... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass, and you'll live longer and be a lot happier!
68fastback™ ;-)
“When you tear out a man’s tongue you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say” -- George R. R. Martin
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, AGAIN! .
Veritas vos Luberabit(the truth will set you free)
lol
"Live every day as if it were your last. One day, you'll be right."
"The specialists learns more and more, about less and less, until he knows everything about nothing. The generalist learns less and less, about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything."
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